“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”
– Mary Manin Morrissey
Do you believe that today you are the same person you were two years ago or 6 months ago? How about yesterday? Have you thought that maybe you haven’t made any progress at all? Above all, you aren’t feeling more self-fulfilled. If this is the case it might mean that for some reason you might be stuck in your past.
I guess it sounds trivial but if I’m right, chances are you haven’t done something to move on.
It’s a very common mistake to look back to past events and still feel there’s this moment or person that you can’t let go of.
Have you felt that sensation?
Images of such moments and people will continue to emerge in your present life and there’s nothing wrong. But a problem occurs when they don’t bring anything good out of you and still „make“ you feel as if you were in your past again.
What could a possible solution be then?
About your past and why it is OK to think about it
Sometimes it takes a decent amount of time to accept your own past. It’s not easy to stand up and move on but this doesn’t mean that it’s not possible.
Let me ask you something:
Have you thought about changing your own perspective towards your past?
Concentrating on your past is not such a waste of time as you may think.
What you could do is focus on the events that had a huge impact on you, that hurt you or made you feel happy. As you can see some of them you want to forget but can’t – like the sad ones, and others you never forget as they make you want to go back again and re-experience them – yes, the happy ones. What’s more important here is that it depends on YOU and what YOU choose to look for in your past. Trust me, the memories you have gathered after so many years of experience may have a great influence on who you are and what you’re doing NOW! And what you’re doing now is what should matter to you, not what you already did in your past.
One of the positive results after a short reflection of who you were and what happened to you in the past is that it makes you realize who you are now and how far you got. However, this kind of an exercise can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, if you notice an improvement in the person you are now, this can encourage you to look for more personal and professional enhancements. But, in case you see no difference, then this might bring a touch of desperation.
One of the reasons why I’m encouraging you to take a closer look at your past is that I believe you haven’t seen success and are not feeling self-fulfilled because you still rely on some good or bad old reputation of yours that doesn’t exist anymore TODAY!
What could’ve possibly gone wrong and why aren’t you feeling this way anymore? I have no idea! But what I know is that if you don’t let that image of you go you will never start living in the NOW! And believe me, if you don’t take action NOW, if you don’t fill your present days with something meaningful and not with thoughts and feelings about your past, it is unlikely that you’ll progress. And success belongs to people who know what to do NOW!
Constant (don’t confuse it with rapid) progress promises success. However, if you’ve chosen to reflect upon your past WITHOUT doing anything to change your present, then you already know what your future will be like. It will be the same as your present. And your present will be the same as your past.
If this is the life you want to have, the decision is all yours and the right to make the choices you’ve made so far is also yours. But in case you crave a change and are ready to move on with your life, then I suggest use your past as a comparison tool, as a place, a life that belongs there – in your past. As a place you’ll never change, physically never go back to. As to the haunting images of people and the feelings you retain – learn how to live with them without being emotionally dependent anymore.
Remember that the view of an object changes when you change the angle you’re looking at it. It’s the same with people and life events.