Our need to feel gratitude from others around us is a huge part of seeing this other as a loving and caring person.
Gratitude helps us enjoy life more. It can help us overcome barriers and reduce stress, give us more confidence and help us achieve our goals, no matter how unachievable they may seem at times.
There are doubts that being grateful takes too much time. It seems difficult in moments of stress, suffering or frustration and unhappiness.
We often find ourselves in a vicious circle of only if :
Only if things work out will I be grateful.
Only if the children behaved better, then I would say “thank you.”
Only if I could lose those extra pounds, then I will start buying new clothes and people will start noticing me…
Only if, only if …
The problem with only if is that only and when that only if happens, then we just move on to the next thing we want without being grateful for what happened to us or what we received. Or we focus too much on this only if we stop noticing all the other things in our lives that we can be thankful for.
Let’s start with the basics here and now.
There is so much to be thankful for, and all we need to do is focus on the good and the positive in our lives.
Sit somewhere in a quiet and peaceful place. Take a deep breath. Let the air fill you. Do not let it out. Inhale twice more. Feel your body. Breathe until you feel like you can’t take any more.
Hold on. Feel your body tighten. You have the feeling that you will explode.
Exhale. Exhale, exhale until you have no more air left in your lungs.
You can breathe
How did you feel when you finally allowed yourself to let the air out of your lungs?
Okay? Like relaxation?
If it really costs you so much to find something to be thankful for, start breathing. Breathing gives us oxygen, the main nutrient of the body. We cannot live without him. It reminds us that we are alive. And this, on the other hand, is something we can be grateful for.
Or maybe it doesn’t matter anymore?
The need to survive is much stronger than any other. The world around you may be falling apart, but if you can breathe, if you are alive, you have a chance to change the direction of everything that is happening in your life.
Try the exercise again. Repeat several times in succession, taking small breaths and exhaling with a pause in between. Try to do it with your eyes closed.
Where are you right now?
Sometimes we are not honest about which aspects of our lives we are not grateful for. We know that we are supposed to be grateful and at the same time we are not able to admit that we are not. Such as our parents, our relationships with others, the fact that right now we are healthy and capable enough to change what is up to us.
So take the time to look at your life and the different aspects of it.
Make a small list if you prefer. Think about the following and highlight the main reason why you are not grateful and the biggest reason why you are grateful.
Here are some aspects you might want to consider.
Do you feel you have enough? Do you think you know how to manage your finances? Do you feel that the lack of money affects other aspects of your life?
Your professional life
Are you satisfied with your work? What do you like about it? Where is it directing you? Is there a part of you that makes you want more in terms of work? In what way?
Your social life
Do you feel satisfied and happy personally and socially? Do you feel loved and accepted as you are? Do you have friends? What is the quality of your relationship with the world around you?
It is important to remember that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships with others.
Do you have goals? Do you feel where you are headed and do you know how to get there? Do you feel that your goals are realistic in terms of what you want to do and where you would like to be?
Do you feel comfortable in your body? What do you find good and what do you find not so good? Do you feel full of energy? Do you enjoy the food you eat?
Home comfort and possessions
Do you feel you have enough or do you think you need more? Do you like the things you own? Do you have favorite things? What do you really crave for?
Make a list of the things you’d like to be grateful for and another list of the things you’re already grateful for. Don’t worry if the list of “complaints” is a bit longer. We will cut it shortly.
How can gratitude change the feeling of emptiness?
It’s simple. When we change our way of thinking so that we express and show more gratitude, nothing will look the same anymore. With this, at first glance, small change, our lives will also change.
Although some steps are missing (such as the one that we need to take action to see results), gratitude for the present moment is undoubtedly crucial and a positive start.
But how exactly does it help us?
It helps us in our social engagement.
I deliberately emphasize social engagement. It is the foundation that we consciously build through our own actions and attitudes that we manifest in our daily lives.
The dilemma in this case is whether you are ready to thank for something or (someone) or you would prefer to find another reason to complain about something in your life.